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We get it. You don't have time for a vacation. Who does?

And really, what’s the difference between lying about winning a thousand bucks in Vegas over the weekend and lying about actually going? Everyone knows it never happened. Kind of like when I said I had an amazing time in Turks and Caicos, but instead went to my uncle’s Jersey wedding and came home with a deep orange tan that totally washed off in the shower. Fake vacations are simply better conversation.

So we’ve created an imaginary road trip for you to brag about around the water cooler, complete with interesting factual details so that you can keep your story straight. Unless you’ve got bourbon in that coffee cup.  Then you’re on your own, you lush.