I'm A Fake Vegan.

Hey, wouldn’t it be nice if people just told the truth every once in a while? I mean, nobody wants to hear that Susan thinks your baby is weird looking, but does she have to go on and on about how ADORABLE he is, only to snicker with the entire Human Resources department behind your back? Susan, Susan, Susan. Just wait til you have a baby.

Pencils:

• I Secretly Eat Bacon
• I Don't Really Love Your Shoes
• I'm Never Truly Sober
• I Farted at Yoga
• I Thought Planking Was a Fish
• I Spellcheck my Sexts
• I've Worn the Same Pants All Week
• Your Baby is Ugly